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franziii
Anmeldungsdatum: 22.01.2008
Beiträge: 1
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hey,
wäre total nett wenn jemand diesen summary berichtigen könnte und mir noch tipps gibt wie ich die sätze schöner gestalten könnte.....
das ist ein summary über die geschichte "a bear problem" im `green line 4`
........
On the Gibsons vacation they travel to Kings Canyon National Park. One day the children, Debbie and Rick have gone hiking in the forest and a bear has attacked them. Now the children are save.
On the Gibsons vacation they travel to Kings Canyon National Park. The children, Debbie an Rick, have heared a story about a bear who has attacked a tourist the week before, from the ranger Ed. The next day their parents wants to see the General Grant Tree but the kids thinks that it is boring. And so they have stayed at the campground. Then they have played cards in their motorhome but Debbie has wanted to see the bear but Rick has thought that it is too dangerour. Also they take food with them and go hiking. Suddenly Debbie has screamed that there is the bear but this is only a joke of her. Ricl has been hungry and so the make a stop and have a picnic. One time Debbie looks into the forest behind them and suddenly she screams that there is the bear. But this time it isn´t a joke. Now Rick sees the bear, too. Then the bear goes to them and the children goes a few stappes back. Debbie falls down but she finds a stone and throws it on the bears´s nose. So the bear stops and goes back into the forest. Debbie and Rick run back to the campground. They have a big shock. |
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Nina
Gast
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Hey...
also ersma fehlt der einleitungssatz... vonwegen Titel Autor usw aber deine kurze zusammenfassung am anfang is ganz okay... nur du kannst nicht schreiben now the children are save... das passt nicht...weil du geschrieben hast one day eines tages und jetzt.... ähm hört sich nich gut an sorry... aber üb weiter  |
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Tinkerbell
Anmeldungsdatum: 27.01.2008
Beiträge: 1
Wohnort: Bad Kreuznach
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Hey franziii,
ich habe dir mal ein paar Fehler verbessert. Wichtig ist, dass du ein Summary immer im Präsens schreibst und denk dran "he/she/it...."s" muss mit"
On the Gibsons vacation they travel to Kings Canyon National Park. The children, Debbie an Rick, heared a story about a bear who attacked a tourist of the ranger Ed the week before. The next day their parents want to see the General Grant Tree but the kids think that it is a boring idea. The Result is that they stay at the campground and played cards in their motorhome. But Debbie wants to see the bear and Rick thinks that it is too dangerous. They take food with them and go hiking. Suddenly Debbie shouts that there is the bear but it is only a joke. Rick is hungry and so they stop for having a picnic. One time Debbie looks into the forest and suddenly she shouts that there is the bear. But this time it isn't a joke. Now Rick sees the bear, too. Then the bear runs to them and the children goes a few steps back. Debbie falls down but she finds a stone and throws it on the bear's nose. So the bear stops and goes back into the forest. Debbie and Rick run back to the campground. The shock is big. |
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