Brauche Hilfe..geht um meine Zeugnisnote

  • Hey...ich hoffe ihr könnt mir helfen...

    Es geht um meine Englischnote.. ich bitte euch mir zu helfen.
    Danke..

    Ich soll ein Text schreiben zum Thema;

    The ideal school

    Our school system is bad. When you are 6 years old until you are 18 you must go to school.
    All children have to go to elementary school till the 4 class. After that you can take one of three school paths (Hauptschule, Realschule, Gymnasium). That is Fact.

    Now I will tell you my opinion:
    Who wants to get up at 6 o`clock? Nobody? That is right. The ideal school should starts at 10 o’clock. Every day 6-10 hours lesson? Every day 3 hours sounds better! And then the annoying homework…

    Let´s begin with math. Math is boring. Who wants to know what "logarithmic" is?
    Me not. But math is important for life. How do you want to go shopping without math? The ideal school will learn simple math and more Geometry. With math you cannot communicate as well.
    You need a language.

    Let´s continue with German. I really like German, but we have to read many books. The ideal school will not read so many books, they will write stories. That is more fun.
    Another language to communicate is French. French isn’t important for everyone. Some people like it, other people hate it. In the ideal school you can choose French if you want.
    After all the languages you must move your body.

    Everyone have to do sport. Sport is an important school lesson. There you can move your body, you can swim, you can play football etc. The ideal school will have every day 2 h sport lessons. You are thirsty? Why is water blue?
    All the answers of your questions know Chemistry. In Chemistry you can experiment. That is funny but also dangerous. Chemistry and Physics are not the same, but they are similar. In Physics you learn about Electronics and something like that. In the ideal school you will everyday do an experiment.
    After all the experiments, you must relax. In music you can relax. We always sing there and sometimes we play on instruments. I wish we can listen more to music because I like music.
    Music tells us stories. Just as history. In history you learn about Hitler, about the Native Americans and more interesting things. Music is as good as sports. In the perfect school, we would have more than 2 hours the week.
    For the future you need the history. “Computer science “is a very important lesson for the future. There you learn how to work with the computer. You need the PC at the office, at school, at the bank etc. In the ideal school you will everyday have “Computer science”.
    How to sell a Computer you learn in “Political Science”. In Political science you learn about politics and economics. I think one lesson a week is enough.
    That was the perfect school for ME. Maybe it is a dream. You are not in the same opinion with me? Everyone thinks different.

    Danke

  • hallo herdiee

    ummmmmm ich würd sagen du überlegst dir erstmal das ganze auf deutsch, und überleg dir auch mal ein paar wörter, ganz ehrlich du hast kaum gute worter drin und ein satz wie ME NOT geht gar nicht, außerdem ist das not me und ein satz ist das auch nicht wirklich.

    wenn du deine arbeit noch nicht abgegeben hast, setz dich hin und überleg nochmal in ruhe.
    schreib dir punkte auf die du magst aber auch nicht magst, und dazu gehört nicht math is boring (PROBLEMERÖRTERUNG!!!!!!)
    gut wäre auch wenn du das schul system mit anderen ländern vergleichst. schau mal in die usa oder england oder ganz egal, da sitzen die kinder von 8 (manchmal auch später) bis ca 14 oder 15 uhr in der schule und die haben auch hausaufgaben.

    du kannst nich nur kritisieren und sagen was du scheiße findest, versuche GUTE argument vorzubringen und wie gesagt vergiss GUTE beispiele nicht.

    und überleg mal, würdest du das so in deutsch abgeben??

    wünsch dir noch viel erfolg, und poste doch deine überarbeitete version.