Letter of motivation - style advice

  • I am applying for a scholarship to double major in Aerospace Engineering and Computer Science in the U.S. If anyone has advice on how to improve this letter of motivation, or if it is well written so far, I'd love to hear it!


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am excited to express my interest in studying at the University of X and would like to introduce myself.

    Currently, I am completing my high school diploma with a year of social service for the German Red Cross after graduating high school at an institute specializing in IT. Having additional courses such as software engineering and network technology on my curriculum over 3 years gave me an opportunity to gain some early experience in the world of information technology. During these prior experiences I have found a great deal of satisfaction through problem solving as well as a strong interest in artificial intelligence and their development.

    Furthermore, I have been fascinated with aerospace technology in and outside of our atmosphere for as long as I can remember. Developments in recent years repeatedly left me in awe, leading me to attend several open access lectures on this subject. This fascination quickly turned into a passion of mine as I slowly got to learn about the physics behind it.

    Ultimately, these prior experiences not only lead me to choose a double major in Computer Science and Aerospace Engineering, but also to do so in the United States, the forefront of both A.I. and aerospace research.

    After my graduation I aim for a position in a global acting organization, thus I believe the opportunity to deepen my language skills by studying abroad will prove very advantageous to fulfill this position at its best and to be prepared for the daily work in an international environment.

    I am convinced that through my current state of education, my interest in getting to know the North American culture and my passion for the given subjects, I am well suited for this path of education at the University of X in Y and I would spend the stay abroad continually dedicated to reaching my goals.

    For any further questions I am always at your disposal. I look forward to hearing from you.

    Sincerely,

    X

  • Wow that's a very good letter of motivation you wrote there! I really couldn't find anything that I would write better. I think your english is very good and professional!
    Good Luck with your application and hopefully you get the scholarship!
    Best Wishes
    X