Bend it like Beckham-Korrektur WICHTIG

ich muss in englisch einen brief von der hauptrolle vom buch "bend it like beckham" (jess) an dr. sommer schreiben. ich bitte euch mir den text driingend zu lesen und es wäre seehr nett wenn mir jemand fehler zeigen könnte, weil es wirklich sehr wichtig ist.

Danke schon mal ....

hier der text :
Dear Dr. Sommer,
I would like to ask you for help, because I’ve got some big problems.
It’s all a long story how it came to this, but the short version is I played football in a professional football team. I’m an Indian girl and my parents don’t allow me to play football. The reason why they want to forbid it is that they think football something for boys and not for girls. Especially not for girls like me. In their opinion Indian girls should stay most time at home and cook, clean and so on. They have got their own plans for my future, like picking me up a husband and do all work at home. I didn’t want this so I played football without telling them that i was doing it. I told them I was doing a summer job and everything was all right. There was a special girl in this football team named Jules. She gave me the chance to play football at that team and we were really good friends. Then I did a big mistake and everything is over with her.
She often told me she likes our trainer Joe very much. I didn’t know she was really in love with him and she didn’t mention love in conjunction with him.
Anyway we had a football match in Germany. I went with them and we went to a party, too.
When I was outside with Joe he leaned down to kiss me. I didn’t do anything against it even though I knew it wasn’t right. I wouldn’t say I just liked him as my trainer. I already had some feelings for him but I never thought it would come to this. While we wanted to kiss, my friend Jules came out of the club and saw us. I felt so bad after this and I’m still feeling bad. I shouldn’t have done this because I should’ve known it was dangerous. It was dangerous because my parents could have found out and because of Jules. I don’t know what to do now. I tried to talk to her very often but she either ignored me or she was abrasive. When I went to her to apologize she was talking like she was in love with him for ages. If she was in love with him-why didn’t she say anything? And how should I know if no one says anything…
My parents found out I was in germany and they’re totally mad. They always trusted me and I was lying to them all the time. Everything I did was just wrong and now I’m in big trouble.
I can’t see Joe anymore because I’m not going to lie to my parents another time and Jules doesn’t want to see my anymore. Everything is so complicated because I really like them both and I want to keep in touch with them.
I ask you to help me because they’re very important persons in my life.
I hope you are writing soon,
Yours sincerely,
Jess