Text über Selena Gomez

  • Hallo Ihr,

    zuerst einmal: Ich bin neu hier und bin echt beeindruckt, wie hilfsbereit manche hier auf dem Forum sind.

    Jetzt zu meinem Text:

    Ich habe hier einen Text zusammengerauft und ich werde diesen auch in meiner Englisch Prüfung als mündlichen Vortrag in 5 Miinuten halten müssen. Leider Bin ich sehr überfordert was die englische Grammatik angeht und wollte hier um Rat bitten. Ich währe so überglücklich, wenn jemand mein Text durchlesen könnte um Stil- , Rechtschreib- bzw. Grammatikfehler zu korrigieren.

    Selena Gomez.doc

    Viele Grüße
    Apo

  • Zitat

    My presentation is about Selena Gomez. Selena Gomez was born in New York in(1) July, 1992.
    At a young age, she moved from New York to Texas. She is an actress and a singer. Gomez is an only child and grew up in Texas. Her parents divorced(2) when Selena was 5. Later, her mother (Mandy Cornett) married another man, who is now her stepfather. This is Brian Teefy. Her biological(3) father is Ricardo Gomez. Selena Gomes best girlfriend is Demi Lovato. She played her first role(4) in the series Barney & Friends, where she met her best friend Demi Lovato. When(5) she was ten years old, she was discovered in a Disney talent contest. After that she became an actor in the series "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody" and "Hannah Montana". With their single "Tell Me Something I Do not Know”, in February 2008 she has been famous.(6) The song belongs to the movie “Another Cinderella Story”. Since 2007, she has played(7) a role in the Disney series “Wizards of Waverly Place”. She also sang the title song "Everything Is Not What It Seems”. The series started in October 2007 on the Disney Channel in America. She and her friend Demi Lovato and with their fellow actor from Wizards of Waverly Place David Henrie, Jake T. Austin and Jennifer Stone Web shows on You Tube.(8) Gomez played the leading role in the movie “Another Cinderella Story” in(9) 2008. Selena has played in six series for example: “Hannah Montana” and “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” and so on. In addition she has filmed seven movies such as for example: “Another Cinderella Story” and “Princess Protection Program” and so on.

    1 - You're born on a day but in a month or year. By the way all sources agree on her birth-date being the 22nd of July and not June.

    2 - To separate means to stop living together but not get a divorce. Since her mother married again, I conclude that her parents had got a divorce.

    3 - You can use "real" but IMO "biological" is better. I think it is the person that's acting like a father who deserves to be called "real".

    4 - Again, you can front about any part of a sentence but I must discourage the fronting of objects unless they require more emphasis than you can provide by raising your voice. It may be a bit unclear who "she" is by the way.

    5 - "After she was ten years old" means eleven or older but when? The only source I found about that contest claims an age of ten. Therefore "when" is the only possibility in this sentence.

    6 - There are several mistakes in this sentence. First of all, I did not get the impression that the order of the parts of the sentence has a meaning for you.
    But there's some more:
    - It is "her single"
    - The present perfect denotes things that started in the past but have an effect in the present. You might have thought, well, she is famous now and from a present point of view "she has been famous" would be correct, but you're talking about the past. That was when she "became famous".
    Without changing too much your sentence must read: She became famous with her single "Tell me something I don't know" in February 2008.
    Note that is fairly common to front (put a part of the sentence to the front to emphasize it) dates and "In February 2008, she became famous ..." would be an equally correct option.

    7 - "Since" requires the verb of the sentence to be in the present perfect. To indicate that the action of the sentence is ongoing you'd use the present perfect continuous. I decided against the latter because I do not know the series.

    8 - This sentence is incomprehensible. What do you mean?

    9 - You can use "in" or "of" but not "year". (You could use "in the year" but that's too verbose.)

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  • Oh und bitte poste nie wieder doc-Dateien, wenn du Hilfe möchtest. Normalerweise fasse ich Dateien von Unbekannten nicht an (wenn dazu ein kompliziertes Programm als 'less' notwendig ist), denn man kann nie wissen, was in so einem Ding für Schadsoftware steckt.

    Ich hatte heute nur gute Laune und hab es ausnahmsweise unter vmware angesehen.

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  • Danke dir sehr für deine Korrektur. Ich werde heute noch ein Text posten, was von einer Freundin ist. Ich hoffe du findest dann nochmal Zeit um es zu korrigieren und diesmal werde ich es nicht im Word Format reinstellen, sondern wie du es gesagt hast.

    Dann hätt ich gerne deine Beurteilung noch zu meinem Text. Findest du den für ein 5 Minütigen Vortrag gut? Der ist für meine mündliche Prüfung (Hauptschulabschluss) und so wie ich es geschrieben habe, werde ich versuchen es vorzutragen, sprich ich lese es die ganze Zeit durch, sodass ich es flüssig sprechen kann.

    Gruss
    Aposch