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Thema: Bitte, Bitte überprüfen

  1. #1
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    Standard Bitte, Bitte überprüfen

    Hey, könnte einer den Text lesen und die Fehler auflisten ?? *lieb frag*
    Mir würden auch abschnitte reichen..

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    Dreaming about California means dreaming about warmth, sunshine, beaches and fun. Some people, who came to California, dream of getting rich fast and of a luxurious lifestyle. Thousands of people come to California every year and they dream also of a new beginning and they come with the hope that they can try out new ideas. There are much different landscapes, which are so beautyful.
    In the past the Americans have kept going West to find new personal freedom and new land.

    But California has also bad sides: Earthquakes, crowded places and it is a state with drugs and alcohol. Some people make fun of Californians and think they spend all their time in their cars in freeway traffic jams or visiting their psycholigists.

    The Golden State

    In California the first gold was found in a river near the present city of Sacramento on January 24, 1848. First anybody realised that there had been discovered gold in the West, but then thousands of people came to California to find gold. Then the Gold Rush started. The gold-seekers were called forty-niners because most of them came in 1849. Most of the Niners got rich, but they also loved the adventure of finding gold. Some people pulled their good teeth out to put gold teeth in, because it was their California Dream.

    Then in the 1920s and '30s the golden years of Hollywood began. Holldywood was the sign that California was a land of gold and glitter. The sunshine changend the ideas about beauty and fashion. Suddenly a suntanned face became a sign of a leisurel, luxurious lifestyle.

    In California they have also an official state flower : The golden poppy. It symbolized the gold found 1849 and it also means that California is a sunshine state.

    A look at the land

    In California you can find every kind of landscape. For example farmland, mountains, deserts, forests, …
    ''Tomesha'' the Nativ Americans' name for Death Valley, means ''land were the ground is on fire''. That is a good name for this desert where temperatures can reach 130°F in the summer. There is a place named Bad Water, which is 86 meters below the sea level, while the highest mountain in California is 4421 meters high and named Mount Whitney.

    California is also famous for its exotic plants and trees. For example the coastal redwoods. The tallest ones are about 10 meters high. But there is also another tree, which is the oldest living thing on earth : the bristlecone pine trees. The oldest of them is about 4,600 years old.
    In California are large areas without any population. So the most people live in towns near the coast of San Francisco to San Diego. In the last years the people move inland, because land is cheaper.

    First in agriculture

    Nearly half of California is forests and much of the rest of the state is desert or endless surburbs of single-family houses and shopping centers. In California, they produce nearly every crop and the people celebrate their leading crop with festivals and parades. The only crop which is not grown there is tobacco.

    In California you can drive with your car miles and miles through the valleys without seeing anyone. The farms are not owned by families, but the are owned by big corporations.

    In the past Mexicans have worked in the fields for less money and under difficult conditions. The end of the boycotts and strikes is that the farmers used machines instead of workers.

    First Industry and manufacturing

    California is the number ohne in industry and manufacturing. One top industry is aerospace. They use huge deserts for experimenting and testing aircraft. The aircraft industry boom began 1940.
    Later, in California rockets, satellites and space shuttles have been designed and tested.

    Another huge industry is electronic. Many of the firms are south of Los Angeles or south of San Francisco. The Silicon Valley is famous for the electronic firms. The first personal computer came out of the Valley. Steven Wozniak and Steve Jobs invited the first personal computer in their garage. Steve Hobs sold his car to get enough money fot his idea. They named the company Apple, because Steve liked apples. Later the somputer became a multi-million dollar buisness.

    The clothing buisness is also an important industry for California, too. Levie Strauss designed the first jeans for the gold-miners. In the 1960s the company became one of the largest clothing manufacturers in the world.

    The most cars

    In California are more cars than any other state in the U.S. In the past a part of the California Dream was a car. It symbolized freedom and independence. Sometimes a car was a part of one's personality.
    Meantime cars are very important for the people. For example for people, who live far away from their jobs. They need a car to come to their work. A car make the live in single-family houses in remote areas possible. But the people get lazy, because they can do everything with their car : eating, banking, watching a movie, and so on. They also became fat faster. Before the car was invited the people must walk or drive with their bikes.
    In California are not many buses and trains, because of the great distances between the towns.

    Motels became also popular in California. You can park you car in front of the bungalow and then you stay the night there. Next day, you can drive on. The first Motel was called the Milestone Motor Hotel, but they shortened Motor Hotel to ''Motel''.

    Indian names

    In California lived probably 250,000 Indians in different tribes and dialect groups. They lived an easy and peaceful life. But then the Europeans came to California and they changend the life of the Indians. The Europeans cut down the plants, killed wild animals and they used the Indians like slaves. The whites sent the Indians to live on reservations, which the Europeans did not need.
    Now, the Indians are one of the fastest growing minority groups in America. Some Indians live in reservations and many Indians are drinking alcohol or have social problems. Many live in cities and are intergrated into American society.
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  2. #2
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    Hi!
    Some people, who came to California, dream of
    Some people, who come to California, dream of [Präsens]

    and they dream also of a new beginning and they come with the hope that they can try out new ideas.
    and they dream also of a new beginning and hope to be able to try out new ideas.

    here are much different landscapes
    here are many different landscapes


    First anybody realised that there had been discovered gold in the West, but then thousands of people came to California to find gold
    First, anybody only realised that there had been discovered gold in the West, but then thousands of people came to California to find gold
    oder:
    After anybody have realised that there had been discovered gold in the West, thousands of people came to California to find gold

    So viel erstmal zu den ersten zwei Absätzen... Mehr vielleicht morgen...
    LG nif7
    Menschen, die etwas wollen, finden Wege. Menschen, die etwas nicht wollen, finden Gründe.


  3. #3
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    Danke schonmal!!!

  4. #4
    Moderator Avatar von nif7
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    Hier geht's weiter:

    But there is also another tree, which is the oldest living thing on earth : the bristlecone pine trees
    But there is also another kind of tree, which is the oldest living thing on earth : the bristlecone pine trees

    the most people
    most of the people

    The only crop which is not grown there is tobacco.
    The only crop which is not growing there is tobacco.

    The farms are not owned by families, but the are owned by big corporations.
    The farms aren't owned by families, but by big corporations.

    number ohne
    number one

    Steven Wozniak and Steve Jobs invited the first personal computer
    Steven Wozniak and Steve Jobs invented the first personal computer

    In California are more cars than any other state in the U.S
    In California are more cars than in any other state in the U.S

    A car make the live
    A car makes the life

    Before the car was invited the people must walk or drive with their bikes.
    Before the car was invented the people had had to walk or drive with their bikes.

    The whites sent the Indians to live on reservations
    The whites forced the Indians to live on reservations

    Ich hoffe, ich konnte dir damit helfen!
    LG nif7
    Menschen, die etwas wollen, finden Wege. Menschen, die etwas nicht wollen, finden Gründe.


  5. #5
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    ohja, vielen Dank!!

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